I completely forgot about this. Last year I did a radio interview on the "One Minute How To" podcast on the proper way to eat Japanese food. For those of you who enjoy eating Sushi, you might find this fun and informative and maybe a little goofy! Link:
I couldn't resist buying it. I mean, who could blame me? It says: 
I've been renting a pad here in Japan, in the Monzen Nakacho area of Tokyo to be exact. It is three stops from Tokyo station. I thought I would let everyone in on Japanese technology and the way people live here. We should have these things in other parts of the world really. Anyway, I'm starting with my toilet. Click on the photo over there to see the features up close but I'll fill you in anyways. First off, it has a heated toilet seat that you can time. I guess this comes in handy if you are real regular and know what time you'll be sitting down everyday. It has a butt washer too and you can move the nozzle back and forth. I guess in testing they found out that the spray nozzle doesn't match everybody's butt so you can move it to your butt hole location. It has another butt washer that doesn't have such a narrow stream, I guess more of a general butt wash rather than an intensive directional spray. It also has a washer for other areas, it has "Bidet" written for this button but basically it is for chicks. And it has a smell sucker intake fan so you don't smell up the bathroom. So you don't need one of those pine forest sprays after you go because the fan in the toilet takes care of unwanted odors. There are some more buttons too but I haven't figured them out yet. I'll let you know when I do. Stay tunes for my bathtub.
Yes it is everywhere, strange Engrish. On my never ending search for it, I ran across this one by the elevator in my hotel: "The emergency steiroase is automatically locked." I get the meaning but the word "Steiroase" sort of made me giggle. I found another one at breakfast but couldn't take a photo. You see, Japanese cell phones make a noise when you take a photo. The reason is because, Japanese perverts, unlike their American counterparts, are sort of juvenile by nature. Japanese perverts are more likely to take a photo with their cell phone up a girl's skirt and for that reason they all make noises making it harder to get away with it. For that reason it was difficult for me to take the breakfast Engrish photo in the quiet room. Everyone would have looked at me and wondered why the "Gaijin" (foreigner) was taking a photo of the macaroni salad. I'll see if I can pull it off tomorrow.
I've only been in Japan a few days but it doesn't take long to find strange English even when you aren't looking. I found this one on my way to a gig here in Tokyo. I've heard of petty theft or petty cash but "Petty Dining" is a first for me. I wonder what they were thinking.
